Life Isn't Perfect

I don't know how long it's going to take me to figure out that life isn't perfect, but I hope it happens soon. It seems like every Sunday that I work, I come home and the kids and Craig have been hanging out and nothing has been done. Meanwhile, I've worked a few hours and want to come home to house that has been picked up at least a little and to kids who are dressed with teeth and hair brushed.

Most Sundays, I'm disappointed. I end up making beds, picking things up, brushing hair and all the while, grumbling under my breath. Maria asks me today, "Mommy, why does everything always have to be so perfect for you?" I realize immediately how hard it must be for her to live with someone like me.

I try, I really do, to not have things in order all the time. It drives Craig crazy, to the point where I'm sure he would rather not be around me at times. I think I should just try to take the advice that I give the kids when things don't go their way...................Breathe, Tanya, breath...1,,,,2,,,,3,,,,4,,,,,5,,,,,6,,,,,7,,,,,8,,,,,,9,,,,,10.

They Truly Say The Best Things

Yesterday, both kids said things truly sweet and funny, respectively.

Maria and I were at dinner last night and when dinner was over she came over and gave me a really big hug. She says, "Mommy, I wish you were a rock. And then, I wish I was a rock." "Why?", I say. "Because", she says, "then I can lay on top of you and be with you FOREVER!" I had to hold back my tears.

Holden is still up in Oregon with my parents. I miss him so much, but he is having a wonderful time. Last night my dad called and told me something Holden said that was just too funny. They decided they were going to stay the night up in Portland to go to a couple of places so they wouldn't have to drive for four hours a day. Holden asked my dad, "Are we going to stay in a 3-star hotel or a 4-star hotel? Because, you know, I've been getting 5-star service here." WAY too funny!!!

My Life Must Have Taken Forever

My job requires me to be at work in the mornings and the evenings. Which means, my kids have to go with me during the summers to "KidsWorld". They are so lucky to have such a great place to go. They get to play and have lots of fun with other kids and best of all, they don't have to be there all day.

I was taking the kids there the other day - at the beginning of the summer break and was trying to explain to them how lucky they are to be able to spend so much time with me. When I was young, I was telling them, I had to spend my entire day in daycare and I only got to see my parents in the evening for about an hour to an hour and a half and on weekends. Holden just sat there for a minute and then says........"Wow, your life must have taken FOREVER!".

PRICELESS

Where Has The School Year Gone

Seriously, where has this school year gone? It seems like just yesterday Maria had her first day of kindergarten. My little baby, babyhood gone :-(. My little man, third grade. In exactly 10 1/2 weeks, it'll be first grade for Maria and fourth grade for Holden. We've made HUGE progress this year. Maria is now reading and I no longer read to her at night. She wants to read to me - lovely. It makes me so very proud. Holden is, I swear, smarter than me in math. There was one day when I truly couldn't figure out a word problem. I remember being so frustrated that I called Craig and practically started crying. Well, you all know me well enough to know that I DID CRY. Holden said to me that day, " Oh Mom, don't worry. The math wasn't this hard when you were in third grade." Adorable. And now, here I sit and the school year is just flashing through in my mind.

I just want to capture every moment in my hand, and I can't. In nine years Holden will be off to college and I'll be sitting here pondering the same thought: Where has the school year gone?

Three Day Weekends

What a weekend. It was so nice. We had a barbecue - oysters - and just had a nice one. The kids were great and I realized for once how nice it was to just relax. That is really hard for me. I think I put my family under a lot of stress, trying to make things perfect all the time. But, I tried really hard this weekend to just relax. It was a lot of fun :-).

Rainy Day, Please Go Away

Here it is, May 27th and it is STILL raining. Seriously? This has been the most dreary seven months that I can remember since I moved to California 20 years ago. Not to say we haven't had a couple days here and there of nice weather, but normally by now we would have had at least some spring like weather.

The hardest part of all is that I find my mood is affected so much by the weather. Waking up every day to this dreary weather, doing the same things every day, it's starting to take a toll. I want my sunny and warm weather! Let's just hope that today is the last of the storms.

Please Mother Nature, I'm sure my family would appreciate the change! I need my sunshine :-).

Time Goes By Way Too Fast

I Believe Holden was just shy of three when this video was taken and my parents recently sent it to me again. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. I am yet again reminded of how fast time goes by and that I need to cherish every moment.

We went and saw Shrek 4 today and the theme of this Shrek is to be thankful for what we have, because it can be gone in an instant. There was a time in my life when I didn't think I wanted to get married or have children. This video is only 30 seconds long and the second it starts, I realize that getting married to Craig and having Holden and Maria are the three best things that have ever happened to me.