It's Been A While

I haven't posted in a while, I know. We made it to Disneyland, and had a great time. One very funny thing happened while we were there. Well, actually, several funny things but one incident really stood out.

Holden was in the shower on our last day there and says, "Mom, I need a band aid. I'm bleeding." "Why?" I ask. "I don't know. It just started and I don't know how." "Well, Holden, let me see.............". I look and he's bleeding on his lip. Hmmmmmmmm......I think.

"Holden", I ask. "Did you try to shave?" "NO", he responds. Then, after careful observation and thought, I ask "Well Holden, why is there shaving cream on your cheek?". He thinks for a while and says................"MOOOOMMMMM, I fell into it!!!!!!"

Getting Older

HOLDENISM: "As you get older, your mind just gets more cluttered Mom. You're 41 and 3/4 as of August 1 (He's very precise). I'm not even 10, only 9. Don't worry, you're just a lot older than me."

Hopefully Soon

So many thoughts on parenting...............

My kids have their hearts set on Disneyland, in four weeks. But, again, we've told them that if they can't listen, can't stop fighting, can't stop arguing with us that we aren't sure that it's a trip that we want to take. Well, this morning, the kids get up and get into bed with me and yet again start fighting with each other and I just can't take it anymore. I just can't. Maria screams like no one I've ever heard. Holden blames it on anyone but himself. But, I am there the whole time. I know what is happening.

I lose it. I tell them it's over and for the second year in a row....................we are not going to Disneyland. Mind you, this is not me just losing my temper one day and taking something away. This is constantly trying to teach consequences and I'm truly starting to believe that sometimes it just doesn't work. Parenting is so hard and I know that everyone has an opinion on everyone else's parenting.

Craig and I will talk about it tonight and more than likely this year we will go. I REALLY WANT TO GO. But, I just get so tired of the kids fighting and not listening, to me especially. Sometimes I truly feel like my head will explode.

I think it's just time for school to start.

I Can't Believe The Summer Is Over

Well, it's here. The new school year. We just went to the pool for the last time this summer. Oh, we'll go again. But, it won't be during the summer.

This summer went so fast!!! Last summer felt like it was a century, but this summer felt like I just blinked and it was over. Maria has grown so much over this summer - maturity wise. Never MIND that the girl is only three inches shorter than Holden. She has just become such a little lady. I'm so proud of her. And Holden, well........he just keeps getting better and better as well. He just never quits talking, quits analyzing or quits thinking. I am thankful for all of those things.

So, like I said at the end of the school year.......where does all the time go?

Life Isn't Perfect

I don't know how long it's going to take me to figure out that life isn't perfect, but I hope it happens soon. It seems like every Sunday that I work, I come home and the kids and Craig have been hanging out and nothing has been done. Meanwhile, I've worked a few hours and want to come home to house that has been picked up at least a little and to kids who are dressed with teeth and hair brushed.

Most Sundays, I'm disappointed. I end up making beds, picking things up, brushing hair and all the while, grumbling under my breath. Maria asks me today, "Mommy, why does everything always have to be so perfect for you?" I realize immediately how hard it must be for her to live with someone like me.

I try, I really do, to not have things in order all the time. It drives Craig crazy, to the point where I'm sure he would rather not be around me at times. I think I should just try to take the advice that I give the kids when things don't go their way...................Breathe, Tanya, breath...1,,,,2,,,,3,,,,4,,,,,5,,,,,6,,,,,7,,,,,8,,,,,,9,,,,,10.

They Truly Say The Best Things

Yesterday, both kids said things truly sweet and funny, respectively.

Maria and I were at dinner last night and when dinner was over she came over and gave me a really big hug. She says, "Mommy, I wish you were a rock. And then, I wish I was a rock." "Why?", I say. "Because", she says, "then I can lay on top of you and be with you FOREVER!" I had to hold back my tears.

Holden is still up in Oregon with my parents. I miss him so much, but he is having a wonderful time. Last night my dad called and told me something Holden said that was just too funny. They decided they were going to stay the night up in Portland to go to a couple of places so they wouldn't have to drive for four hours a day. Holden asked my dad, "Are we going to stay in a 3-star hotel or a 4-star hotel? Because, you know, I've been getting 5-star service here." WAY too funny!!!

My Life Must Have Taken Forever

My job requires me to be at work in the mornings and the evenings. Which means, my kids have to go with me during the summers to "KidsWorld". They are so lucky to have such a great place to go. They get to play and have lots of fun with other kids and best of all, they don't have to be there all day.

I was taking the kids there the other day - at the beginning of the summer break and was trying to explain to them how lucky they are to be able to spend so much time with me. When I was young, I was telling them, I had to spend my entire day in daycare and I only got to see my parents in the evening for about an hour to an hour and a half and on weekends. Holden just sat there for a minute and then says........"Wow, your life must have taken FOREVER!".

PRICELESS

Where Has The School Year Gone

Seriously, where has this school year gone? It seems like just yesterday Maria had her first day of kindergarten. My little baby, babyhood gone :-(. My little man, third grade. In exactly 10 1/2 weeks, it'll be first grade for Maria and fourth grade for Holden. We've made HUGE progress this year. Maria is now reading and I no longer read to her at night. She wants to read to me - lovely. It makes me so very proud. Holden is, I swear, smarter than me in math. There was one day when I truly couldn't figure out a word problem. I remember being so frustrated that I called Craig and practically started crying. Well, you all know me well enough to know that I DID CRY. Holden said to me that day, " Oh Mom, don't worry. The math wasn't this hard when you were in third grade." Adorable. And now, here I sit and the school year is just flashing through in my mind.

I just want to capture every moment in my hand, and I can't. In nine years Holden will be off to college and I'll be sitting here pondering the same thought: Where has the school year gone?

Three Day Weekends

What a weekend. It was so nice. We had a barbecue - oysters - and just had a nice one. The kids were great and I realized for once how nice it was to just relax. That is really hard for me. I think I put my family under a lot of stress, trying to make things perfect all the time. But, I tried really hard this weekend to just relax. It was a lot of fun :-).

Rainy Day, Please Go Away

Here it is, May 27th and it is STILL raining. Seriously? This has been the most dreary seven months that I can remember since I moved to California 20 years ago. Not to say we haven't had a couple days here and there of nice weather, but normally by now we would have had at least some spring like weather.

The hardest part of all is that I find my mood is affected so much by the weather. Waking up every day to this dreary weather, doing the same things every day, it's starting to take a toll. I want my sunny and warm weather! Let's just hope that today is the last of the storms.

Please Mother Nature, I'm sure my family would appreciate the change! I need my sunshine :-).

Time Goes By Way Too Fast

I Believe Holden was just shy of three when this video was taken and my parents recently sent it to me again. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. I am yet again reminded of how fast time goes by and that I need to cherish every moment.

We went and saw Shrek 4 today and the theme of this Shrek is to be thankful for what we have, because it can be gone in an instant. There was a time in my life when I didn't think I wanted to get married or have children. This video is only 30 seconds long and the second it starts, I realize that getting married to Craig and having Holden and Maria are the three best things that have ever happened to me.

Bedtime Rituals

Every night, it's the same thing.............bedtime is 8pm. Thank goodness there are two parents and only two kids in our family. Otherwise, I don't know how I'd do it.......get the kids to bed in less than two hours. Actually, it only takes 30 minutes. Each kid gets book and cuddle time. Maria is now officially reading, which is just amazing. It's been truly thrilling to watch her progress from not being able to read to being able to read independently. Now she reads to me, with minimal assistance. Love it. Each night, Craig does one kid, I do the other. Then, the next night we switch.

What is amazing to me, and equally adorable is that Holden still enjoys this "cuddle time". He actually tracks the amount of time that I spend with Maria in her room - he says I don't spend as much time with him cuddling. I think this is so precious. Especially because during the day sometimes, we can have such major battles! Oh, this kid can argue like none other.

Nonetheless, although I am ready by that time to have time to myself, I want to hold on to him and her tightly because I know it won't be much longer until they won't want this time together. They will want to be alone and not want to cuddle with me. Oh, I dread the day.

Someone gave me a book called I Liked You At Ten, I'll Like You Again. It has poems based on a child at various ages and it is spot on. For a nine year old, like Holden it is this:

I'm still your hero

And still kind of cool,

But it's your peers that impress you

Way more at school.

Look out for number one

I remind you to do -

You alone

Are accountable for you.

It's momentous to you

What to wear

And let's not forget

About the hair.

You use new slang words,

Most I've not heard;

You don't want to be considered

Weird or a nerd.

Treat others with kindness,

I remind you to do;

Compassion and Integrity

Are Instilled in you.

I understand,

You just want to fit in;

What you don't realize,

You're where I have been.

Little Gestures For Mother's Day

I just love the way kids give gifts. Maria loves to "package" little things that she sees around the house into ziploc bags and give them to me. "Close your eyes mama", she says. I do willingly, because I know something special is coming. It's usually one of my own bracelets from my jewelry box, or a rock from outside, or even something more special like a flower from outside.

Kids TRULY understand, without us telling them, the meaning of "it's the thought that counts".

It's Not OK to Hit.....for the 100th Time

Seriously, how many times do I have to tell my children that it is not OK to hit? Thankfully, they only hit each other and again, thankfully they don't do it that often. However, when they do it seems they can't get it through their thick skulls that it isn't OK. Holden ALWAYS blames it on Maria. Maria ALWAYS blames it on Holden. Let's just ignore the fact that hitting is WRONG, I can't seem to get through to Holden that it is NOT OK TO HIT A GIRL. How do I do that? How do I know that one day when a girl, perhaps a girlfriend in the future (not too soon I hope), breaks his heart or makes him very very mad, how do I know he won't haul off and hit her? My heart tells me that he won't hit this future girl/girlfriend because his nature is so sweet. But, I need to make sure I do the work NOW. I need to make sure I do my job NOW to be sure he treats women right.

Now, for Maria............her nature is sweet; however, this girl has a temper. Everything can be going smooth as silk and then........BAM! She has gotten MUCH better about controlling her temper so I believe there is hope. But I sometimes don't know where she gets her temper, from me or Craig? I'm pretty sure it isn't me :-).

Anyway, I'm so thankful for these two children and most days go smooth as silk; but, on the days when they hit each other it breaks my heart and I just wish they would realize that hitting never pays.

When they don't see us

I dropped the kids off at school today and went and ran an errand on campus. As I came back, the kindergardeners were still on the playground. Maria doesn't usually do the monkey bars. She's very hesitant, very cautious. Holden is the one that will just jump forward and try anything.

She didn't see me watching. I saw her doing the monkey bars, cautiously climbing up, each time a little higher. Then, she'd let go, fall to her feet and throw her arms up into the air as if she had just won an olympic gold medal or something. It's priceless to watch. After about five minutes of watching this go on, I finally let her in on the fact that I was watching her and told her........."See, I've always known you could do it!" The look on her face was priceless.

Well, Holden is still grounded from the computer; although, he asks EVERY hour if he can get his privileges back. Not until, I say, it is a HABIT to speak to me with respect, do what I ask the first time I ask and not talk nasty to Maria. Seriously, is this too much to ask? Maria on the other hand has finally started getting over her temper tantrums. As I say this though, she'll probably come home and have a mother of one, but I'll think positively and hope for a really great day. They are just growing so fast - I can't stand it. I told Holden last night that I hope when he is old (like me) that he'll always remember the phrase from my favorite book - Love You Forever - "I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always, As Long As I'm Living, My Baby You'll Be." He said he would :-).

Tuesday May 4, 2010

I thought this might be a good way for me to start updating everyone on the family. Facebook is great, but more for random thoughts ;-). Anyway, all is well in the Parmley household. Holden is taking his STAR tests over the next two weeks and Maria's kindergarten classes have decided that the weather is just too nice to have to do homework for the rest of the year. So, only about six more weeks until school is over. That's it for now - just trying this out.